Eighteen months ago, one of my really good friends called me in tears. She had just opened a letter from a collection agency and realized—for the first time in her life—just how deep in debt she was: $32,400 across credit cards, personal loans, and lingering medical bills.

First off, I need to say that she is smart, capable, and hardworking. But like so many people I meet, she never received any real financial education–the kind we all need. Money had always been emotional for her. She either avoided it completely or tried to “manifest” her way out of stress. She was feeling stuck and very defeated.

The good news is I knew I could help her figure this out if she was receptive to hearing me out.

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Step 1: We Took the Shame Off the Table

Before we touched a single spreadsheet, we had to deal with the shame.

She felt like a failure. She thought everyone else had it figured out. She even said, “You must think I’m an idiot.”

Let me tell you—shame is debt’s favorite hiding place. The longer it stays hidden, the more we let it grow (burying your head in the sand as a cope mechanism is a real recipe for disaster).

So I told her what I would tell anyone:

“You are not stupid. You are not broken. You just need a system that works for you.”

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Step 2: We Got Clarity (The Painful Kind)

We sat at my kitchen table with coffee and a laptop, and she laid everything out—balances, interest rates, due dates. We pulled her credit report, gathered every one of her statements, and I created a simple spreadsheet to track it all.

Here was the total damage:

• 4 credit cards totaling $19,000

• A $7,500 personal loan at 11.9%

• $5,900 in medical bills (some were already in collections)

She kept saying, “I had no idea it was this bad. Every time I would try to figure this out, I would quickly give up out of panic and frustration and just walk away without resolving anything”.

Here’s what I want you all to know…. the moment you look your debt in the eye? That’s when you start to win.

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Step 3: We Picked the Right Payoff Plan (for Her)

I explained the simple concepts behind the Debt Snowball and the Debt Avalanche methods, and she immediately gravitated toward the snowball.

“I just need to feel like I’m making progress,” she said. So we arranged the debts from the smallest balance to the largest, completely ignoring interest rates (for the time being). This gave her small psychological wins—fast to help her stay motivated.

We set a goal: Pay off the first $1,000 credit card in 2 months. It lit a fire in her to finally make some progress.

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Step 4: We Built a Realistic Budget (Not a Miserable One)

I didn’t hand her a cookie-cutter budget. Instead, we sat down and looked at her actual life: rent, groceries, dog food, the occasional Friday margaritas and nachos night.

We created a zero-based budget, one that assigned a job to every dollar she had coming in. It wasn’t perfect at first—there were slip-ups—but that’s part of the process. 

I added just (2) non-negotiable items:

• A $500 emergency fund (so she didn’t have to rely on credit cards)

• $50 per month for something fun and frivolous. Because “deprivation leads to rebellion” and can derail the whole process.

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Step 5: She Increased Her Income (Without Burning Out)

She picked up weekend pet-sitting gigs and sold some high-end clothing purchases on Poshmark. It brought in an extra $300–$400/month.

It wasn’t glamorous—but every dollar went to the next debt. Every time she texted me, “Made $60 today,” we celebrated (often with margaritas).

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Step 6: Automation and Accountability

I helped her automate minimum payments and set up weekly transfers for extra debt payments. She gave me “debt buddy” status updates—every Sunday she’d text me her spending, her wins, and even her slip-ups.

There was no guilt. It was just data and emotional support.

She also made a visual debt tracker and put it on her fridge. Every time she would pay off $500, she colored in a square. Her roommates even started cheering her on!

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The Wins Along the Way

Within 4 months, she’d paid off 2 credit cards. By month 9, the medical debt was gone. She cried when we paid off the personal loan in month 14.

Her final credit card? Paid off at month 18.

And get this:

• She boosted her credit score by 142 points

• She saved over $3,500 in interest

• She finally slept through the night without any debt panic nightmares

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The Tools We Used

These were simple—but powerful:

• Budgeting App: YNAB (You Need a Budget)

• Debt Tracker: Printable chart on the fridge

• Accountability: Me (and a Sunday check-in text)

• Side Hustles: Pet sitting, reselling clothes

• Mindset: “Progress not perfection”

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What She Says Now

Last week, she told me:

“I used to think being good with money was only for other people. Now I know it’s just a muscle you have to learn how to use by making one smart decision at a time with a goal in mind.” 

I like to say… just like the gym, you aren’t going to get jacked overnight. Being good with money just takes some high level planning and then staying consistent as you make small steps toward your goals every day.

And that’s what I want you to take away from this.

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Final Thoughts

Debt doesn’t make you bad with money—it just means you need a strategy! My friend didn’t get a raise, she didn’t win the lottery, and she certainly didn’t move back in with her parents. She made consistent, boring, empowering decisions over and over again.

You can do that too.

And if you need someone in your corner, consider me that person.